Jun 192011

Here’s the truth.

You have something deep inside you that you don’t want to give anyone… but I smell it.

I can feel it inside you when I stand really close to you and when I look at you, …I can tell then, too.

I have no desire to beat it out of you when just looking and knowing stirs it around so much.

Everyone has their own topping ‘style’. Last night I had my first real ‘experience’ at mine. I got into my first real topping headspace and I liked it. I’d played around there before, but last night I visited and I knew that there was a part of me that could really do well there. It’s somewhere I really look forward to going again.

Jun 162011

Even when I say that bad stuff, He smiles.

He’s gonna get me if I don’t shut up.

Daddy’s got that mean stuff like that sometimes.

But I will hide my face and casually leave my ass in the air, then squeal when he smacks at it.

Then I will be faux-shocked at his defilement of such an innocent creature

… and tell him about it.

… with a straight face.

…and a voice that most people have never heard and will never hear out of me.

I’m just a babygirl.

I want to hide behind him and curl up in his lap.

I want him to pet me and  feed me bites.

I want him to squish my sammiches flat, and rub that sweet part of my ass until my legs spread, and I get all blushy blushy.

I like sitting on the floor so I can stretch, then crawling over to put my head in his lap.

He can sit me down, and stop all the noise, and I’ll listen.

He can have me in tears in a heartbeat.

It’s more than sex.

It’s more than play.

It’s not exactly love, but close…

It’s a special level of care for another person.

Jun 152011
I’m honest about what I want, but seriously.... 
I’m a girl and that might be different from day to day so *do* 
try to keep up.

Sometimes I’ll say shit like that just to see what you’ll do.

Don’t ignore me or I’ll lose it.

For reals – being ignored – Hard Limit.

If you let it slip, I let you slip.

I get in those moods.

I push.

I need to know that it’s there.

I need the consistency of that really raw, primal, sadistic ‘mine when you don’t want to be’ jama that’s not inside everybody. There seems to be a mysterious line between a Growl and a goddamn bug bite these days.

I need to feel it even when I can’t see it, and you can’t touch me. I need to feel it in that instant when you want me to, or when I know you’d want me to. I really need to be taught how to care about knowing better.

It’s in there.

What I’m asking for is some help in getting it out.

P.S. This is NOT a Test. These are the answers.