I took a break from everything for a while. Actually, a break took me. I’m in a place where I’m learning more about my new self, the person I’m becoming, wanting to becoming. TH calls this process “growing up” – novel idea, right? I’ll be 33 in December. It’s really about time for me to figure out what the fuck is going on, but during these 33 years it seems as if not many of them have been lived expressly for me, and I’m honest and selfish enough to have needed / still sometimes need that time.
You grow up and become a better person, or at least some people do. I’m going to. Stop with people who aren’t good for you, take advantage of you. Lose the friends who just want to party with you and learn to put other things first. Learn to love what needs to be nourished and not what wants attention. I’m on that path. I stumble like fuck. Just last night I let my temper get the best of me and ripped a bad person a new asshole. I don’t want to be a spitter and a cusser anymore. I want to have that cooler head that I’ve (here lately) been training on. Just goes to show you that not everything changes overnight. I’m trying.