Jul 302012

Seven ’til Midnight did a great job with this thong. It’s stretchy and comfortable. I feel sexy when I wear it and The Husband makes me feel even sexier. It’s well made and beautiful.

+ Comfortable
+ Stretchy
+ Well made
- None
This is the most gorgeous thong. I fell in love with the color almost immediately. The fact that the panel was supposed to give you some tummy coverage appealed to me even more. This was going to be my first time ordering from Seven ‘til Midnight, but I wanted this on my body. I wanted to be somewhere, talking to someone, knowing that I was wearing these panties.The Undercover Lover Shaping Thong was wrapped in a clear plastic bag for the first 3 seconds that I owned it. After tossing that aside, I noticed the attached tag included the manufacturer’s name, website, and a copy of the stock photo that’s on the product page. It also included the size of the thong and the following information:

+ Lace overlay microfiber thong offers smoothing and tummy control
+ Minimal rear coverage leaves no panty lines for added comfort and confidence
+ Pair with any of our control tops to create a slimming, fashionable outfit

What’s it made of?
The Undercover Lover Shaping Thong from Seven ‘til Midnight is made from 92% Polyester and 8% Spandex, as listed on the care tag. There’s almost two parts to this panty. There’s the panel that’s made up of the two materials sewn together and the thong. The inside of the panel is lined with a silky colored, fuschia material that feels great against the skin. The outer layer is covered in a lacy, floral material.

Sizing and Fit:
Seven ‘til Midnight’s The Undercover Lover Shaping Thong comes in Small, Medium, Large, XL, 1X/2X, 3X/4X. I decided on their 1X/2X and here’s their measurements up against mine:

Seven ‘til Midnight’s 1X-2X: Waist: 36-38 inches Hip: 42-48 inches
My Measurements: Waist: 42 inches Hip: 48 inches

Waist (unstretched) – 32inches
Waist (stretched) – 48 inches
Thong length – 10.5 inches
Panty liner length – 4.5 inches long

They have quite a good bit of stretch to them, so I don’t buy the whole ‘tummy control’ advertising. I do think that the design and cut of the panties are geared towards those who have tummy issues, however, there’s no special “shapewear” that provides any extra belly support.

How well is it made?:
Fortunately, everything looks to be in good working order with this Seven ‘till Midnight piece. There are a few areas where it looks as if the lace wasn’t lined up perfectly before it was sewn, but nothing seems to be coming apart.

Care and Maintenance:
The tag says: Hand wash cold. Do not bleach. Do not iron. Line dry. These will go into a lingerie bag and then into the washing machine. I don’t know if I’ll dry them yet. However – I still advise you to follow the manufacturer’s cleaning instructions. I store mine in my panty drawer. Just fold them and toss them right in. Although… I don’t know why I bother folding my panties because they never stay folded.

When I wear them:
Here’s what I hate about anything with lace: you can’t wear anything tight with it. I can always see the lacy design through thin materials, so I have to keep that in mind when dressing. However, this thong was comfortable and I was pleased with the fit! It was stretchy and felt nice against my skin. I also like wearing thongs to some of the play parties that I go to. Thongs make it easy for implements used for impact play to get to your ass cheeks without having to put all of your business out there for the entire group to see.

I paired this with a black bra and wore it out under a black dress. After coming home and while undressing, The Husband did a double take when I turned to hang my dress on the outside of the closet.The Husband: I like those panties, girl.
Me: Thanks
The Husband: Take ‘em off.

Follow-up commentary
I still like them, even three months after original review
Any pair of panties that catch The Husband’s attention are a good pair. These are comfortable and really gorgeous. They’ve actually held up well. In all honesty, I’ve just been tossing them in the washing machine. Granted, I’ve separated them into the delicate pile, but they’re still in great shape. They haven’t torn, despite being roughly pulled off and The Husband loves how they make my ass look. How can I argue with that? STM2 STM1
Jul 282012

From Arizona to Alabama in four working days and I was pulling my David the Werewolf out of a thoughtful piece of purple tissue paper.  I am an official owner of a Bad Dragon toy! He’s big. I ordered a medium. David the Werewolf is a dildo of size, even in medium. David’s going to really excite those who are looking for something a little out of the box. Keep in mind, though – this a great dildo that you’re able to customize. It’s non-porous and made from platinum cured silicone.  Cleaning these toys is a breeze.

  1. Soap and water
  2. Toss it on the top rack of your dishwasher.
  3. 10% bleach to 90% water solution
  4. Boil it for a few minutes. You really only need to boil it for 2-3 minutes in order to sanitize it.
  5. Scrub it up in the shower!

For you that aren’t aware, Bad Dragon’s products are all customizable by size, firmness, color, without or without a suction cup, and you can get them with a cumtube. A cumtube is a silicone tube that runs up the shaft of the toy; the other end is attached to a 60ml syringe. The tube can be used for injecting Bad Dragon’s water-based Cum-Lube. The Cum-Lube comes in clear and white. What are you going to use it for? Well, lube, of course! However, it’s also going to appeal to those who of you who really enjoy the experience of being ejaculated in. If you like your partner to cum inside you, or being filled during a climax, then you might try the cumtube.  If you do opt for it as an option, an 8oz bottle of Bad Dragon’s Cum-Lube comes with it.

While I didn’t get a cumtube with my first Bad Dragon toy, I did customize it in a few other ways. In the category of firmness, I decided to go with a 5. My choices being a 3, 5, and an 8 – They compare a 3 to a Gummi Bear, a 5 to an unopened tube of toothpaste, and an 8 close to an erect cock, but a bit squishier. Here’s the great thing about the firmness of Bad Dragon’s toys, you can order a sample pack for $5 that has three round molds, one in each degree of firmness. Those sample packs do more than allow you to experience how firm their toys are, they also give you a glimpse into some of the beautiful colors that Bad Dragon uses in their toys. I was impressed.

I’m sticking David over in the ‘Advanced Users’ box. He’s comparable to Randy Silicone in girth and my arm in length. Not really. It’s insertable length is 7.2 inches. The circumference of the knot is 7.9 inches. That means that it’s bigger around than it is long. The shaft circumference is 5.9 and the circumference of the head is 6 inches. The medium is big. IF you can and decide to use this as an anal toy, feel free. Once you get past the ‘knots,’ you have a bit of a neck and a flared base. Personally, I thought it’d take me forever to take the knot, but after a few week’s worth of good, horny work, I flooded the base with girly juice! I was really, really proud!

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Jul 022012

The Leisure Lover is the prime example of a free toy that I don’t want, I don’t understand, and will not use unless it’s to review. I think it’s a cheap toy; and I’m getting tired of toys like this.

I thought this was a vibrator, not a Wii remote!

This is the dullest toy that I own. Its buzzy vibrations are weak and unexciting. The most fun part about this vibrator is the wrist handle that comes with it. For some reason the manufactures seem to think that we’re going to have so much fun with this toy that we’re likely to sling it around and throw it through a flat screen. No worries guys… that won’t happen, out a window, maybe.

+ Quiet
+ Nice Design
- Weak vibrations
– Horrible smell
– Not sure that its materials are really body safe.
I don’t know who NMC thought this toy would interest. With its rancid smell and weak vibrations, I’m guessing they were taking a shot at fooling beginners. However, there’s a big difference in making a product for those who are new to or intimidated by sex toys or even sensitive to vibrations than those who will ignorantly purchase toys that are bad for them, have really weak vibrations, won’t last and are cheaply made just because they don’t know any better and then label it wrong and hope that we’ll tell people that it’s “great for beginners.” It’s wrong. Beginners shouldn’t be told to buy sucky toys. This toy isn’t good for beginners. It isn’t good for anyone. I’ll be honest, the design isn’t half bad. I enjoy the decreasing of shapes. However, the black, heart-adorned wrist handle? I’m not fourteen anymore. I ordered a vibrator, not a Wii remote! The material, bad smell, little to no vibrations, and inability to clean properly? You can keep it.

Material / Texture

The Leisure Lover is partially made of an inner ABS plastic form and fully covered by what the product page lists as phthalate free pvc. The product page lists this toy as being made from hypoallergenic, latex and phthalates free, food-grade material. I say that knowing that some companies manufacture cheaper toys, labeling them as phthalate free, when in fact, they aren’t. Keep your condoms handy just in case. NMC Ltd is the manufacturer of the Leisure Lover. Nanma is one of Asia’s largest manufactures of adult materials. Another reason that I question the safety and material of the Leisure Lover is the smell of it. Nothing that’s good for you is ever supposed to smell as if it’s just been chugged straight out of the local toxic chemical factory. And…. I’m not tasting that.The Leisure Lover is very flexible, at least up until the point that the plastic form can be seen. Once you’re into that plastic form territory, you’re stiff as a bone. You’ve still got the squishy-ness surrounding it, but the toy itself isn’t flexing back and forth.Besides the safety of the product not impressing me, the texture has more drag than any other toy I’ve ever held. You’re going to need your fair share of lube in order to get this one going. Think silicone or water based lubricants. It could also double as a lint brush. Simply roll it over your clothes before work and you’ll be free of any unsightly pet hair, lint, stray strings, or fuzzies.

Design / Shape / Size
The Leisure Lover is made up of five globular shapes, each one smaller than the one below. The circumference of the largest/bottom shape is 5 1/2 inches. The circumference of the next shape up is almost 5 inches. The next is almost 4 1/2 inches. The next is a little under four inches and the smallest/top is almost 3 inches.
The Leisure Lover is almost 7 1/2 inches long. One inch of that is the hard, plastic cap that you easily unscrew in order to insert the one AA battery that the vibrator is powered by. The inner ABS plastic core is about 3 1/2 inches. From the top of the ABS plastic core to the top of the toy is 3 inches.A slow thrusting motion makes the globular shapes pop in and out of the vaginal canal, giving the vagina and the G-spot a wonderful sensation. The vibrations, although extremely weak, are buzzy, and felt mostly in the lower shapes of the vibrator. The motor is obviously housed in the ABS plastic form and aren’t felt much beyond it.There aren’t any visible seems, but where the PVC meets the plastic, right at the screw top for the battery compartment, it looks like a mess. If there was ever a perfect place for bacteria and all around nasty to live and grow in perfect harmony, it’s here. Take a toothbrush to it. Clean it well.

Functions / Performance / Controls

The Leisure Lover is controlled by a dial base located on the very bottom of the vibrator. The controls are very easy to use and easily accessible while you’re using it. By simply turning the dial clockwise you will increase the vibrations of the vibe. Turning the dial counter-clockwise decreases the vibrations and ultimately turns the toy completely off. For the Leisure Lover, the difference between completely off and high are very little. Sadly, this toy’s vibrations are terribly weak.Waterproof! Yes, it is waterproof. I let the Leisure Lover have it’s way with a sink full of water. I wiped it down afterwards and the battery compartment was nice and dry. However, even on its highest vibration, it didn’t move around enough to even make the slightest ripple in the water.

Care and Maintenance

In order to clean the Leisure Lover you can use toy wipes or antibacterial soap and water. It’s nice that the vibrator passed the waterproof test so that we know that it can be submerged. It makes for much easier cleaning. Don’t forget to take an old toothbrush to the area above the battery cap. That will help to remove any fluids and bacteria.


The 14 year old girl who was project director on the Leisure Lover’s advertising box did a great job. You can’t read half of the words because they’re all in funny little fonts. The box is a funky green and pink color. It has hearts and swirls. The words “FREEZY STIFFS” are written boldly down the front of the box. What is a freezy stiff? The box is clear, easy to see the vibrator through, recyclable plastic, not discreet in the least, and fun to toss out.On it’s packaging it also has the logo for ABA Formula Plastic. It also lists claims such as odorless and non-toxic. Wait… is this made from ABA Plastic or Phthalate free PVC? Hmmm?


I was not impressed with the Leisure Lover in the least. I slapped a condom on it and began to masturbate my way to a nap. That’s a sad day, folks.

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Jul 012012

I’m Writing A Review!!!

The Uma is a well made, quality toy. If you are experienced enough to know that rumbly vibrations are what you want out of a toy, then you should fully enjoy your time with Uma. If you enjoy anal, clitoral, G-spot, or vaginal stimulation, then Uma’s versatile functions will appeal to you as well. I’m thrilled with Uma’s performance.

+ Strong Vibrations
+ Waterproof
+ Rechargeable
+ Warranty
+ Body safe
- Buttons are hard to push for some


Uma is a the perfect vibrator for someone who enjoys any level of rumbly vibrations. With the Uma, these vibrations can be applied to the clitoris, G-spot, vaginal and anal cavities. Uma is a well made, luxury product that is multifaceted. She’s waterproof; so she’s not limited to the bedroom. Feel free to take her to the shower, tub, or pool. Because of how quiet she is, she’s appealing to those who have roommates or children running around. She’s also fun and easy to use by yourself or with your partner. Sometimes we get awkward shaped toys that don’t play so well with a third person. You won’t have that problem with Uma.I also think Uma would make a great toy for beginners. Although she’s expensive, Uma is a great investment as long as you know that you like RUMBLY vibrations. She does have very strong vibrations, but she also has a wide range of vibrations. Those who are more sensitive should still enjoy this toy along with the quality that it provides.

Material / Texture

Uma is made of silicone which is a non-porous, hypoallergenic, latex and phthalates free, food-grade material. It’s very soft and velvety to the touch, feeling wonderful against the skin. Uma isn’t flexible and will not bend. Although it does have a bit of drag to it, a little bit of water based lubricant should help with that. Water based lubricant is the only type of lubricant that you can use with Uma. Always remember that silicone lube can harm your silicone toys.Silicone has no taste or odor and is one of the most body safe materials on the sex toy market.

Design / Shape / Size

Manufactured by Je Joue, Uma is sleek and discreet. It has an ergonomic, curved shape and oval ends. It’s designed to provide added stimulation to the vaginal entrance and the G-spot. One of the oval ends has a circumference of 4 1/2 inches. While Uma slims a bit in the middle to about 3 inches, she flares again into another wider, oval-shape, 5 1/2 inch base that holds her controls. Her total length is a little over 7 inches, insertable length is 4 – 5 inches, circumference is 4 1/2 inches, and weight is 0.75 lbUma is rechargable via her magnetic charging dock located at the end of the toy. When you place Uma’s dock close to her buttons you’ll feel the pull. When Uma is charging the Je Joue heart will flash. When Uma is finished charging the heart will have a steady glow until it’s removed from its dock. Two hours of charging gives you two hours of play time with Uma. Don’t use Uma while she’s charging.Although Uma’s vibrations are mostly felt at the end of the toy, she can leave you with tingly fingers if you use her for a while. That’s a small price to pay for her rumblies.Although Uma is discreet and doesn’t look like your typical phallic-shaped vibrator, leave her out and exposed at your own risk. She comes with such a nice storage box and her silicone is known to be such a lint and dust magnet, you might as well keep her tucked away.

Functions / Performance / Controls

Uma is a very well-made vibrator. She has no seems and everything comes together perfectly around her controls.Uma’s controls are very easily accessible during play. Some people have had an issue with the Je Joue buttons, but I never have. Personally, I’d much rather have a button that’s a bit harder to push rather than one that easily jumps around during play. That can be extremely frustrating while you’re trying to get off.Controls:
1. To turn Uma on, press the (+) button and hold for three seconds.
2. Also, use the (+) button to increase the vibration level.
3. To turn Uma off, press the (-) button and hold down for three seconds for an instant shut-off.
4. Also, use the (-) button to decrease the vibration level.
5. Use the (~) button to scroll through the seven different pulse patterns.

Care and Maintenance

Cleaning Uma is very easy. Warm antibacterial soap and water is all you need to give Uma a good cleaning. It’s helpful that Uma is waterproof because she can be submerged. It’s always a good idea to clean Uma before and after each use. Her silicone tends to pick up hair, lint, and fuzzies from almost everywhere, so keeping her stored in a safe place, away from everything is a good idea.Just a reminder, silicone toys aren’t supposed to be stored with other silicone toys. It can cause them to melt. No one wants a damaged toy!


Uma comes packaged in a discreet black box that can be used to store your toy in to keep her safe from damage. She comes uncharged, so you’ll have to charge her up when you get her. Inside her box you’ll also find her charger and an information booklet. This box is wrapped in cellophane.The black box is inside a pink and white Je Joue box. The Je Joue box includes a full sized photo of Uma on one side, a snippet of information in six different languages on another side, and product information on the ends. It’s very informative, recyclable, and still tasteful.

Personal comments

Je Joue warrants Uma for one year from the date of original purchase.


Some back-story: A while back, I got Fifi. Fifi is Uma’s “Rabbit version.” I was so excited. I had only had one rabbit vibrator before Fifi, and it knocked me over with orgasms. Sooooo, when I got FiFi I thought I was going to cum so hard that the world was going to end. Unfortunately, Fifi didn’t fit my body. Fifi is a wonderfully made piece of sex toy magnificence, but not for those bodies she does not anatomically fit with. The day I found that out you could hear me my crying in the streets like a wounded animal.
It was quite unfortunate.
I mourned.
I pouted.
I was hesitant about Uma. She was so much like Fifi. Could she be trusted to pick up where FiFi didn’t fit me? YES! Uma got exactly the two hours of charging time she needed before I yanked her off her port and stuck her inside me. The Husband wanted to know what all the excited squealing was about.
ME: Nothing!I just slammed the door and took a seat on the edge of the tub. I turned Uma all the way up, and in she went.

The Husband: Is this that thing that came in the box today?

Me: No! Go away!

The Husband: -short pause- I bet it is…

Meanwhile, I’m deep breathing through my first orgasm, working on my second, and grasping for something to hold on to so that I don’t fall on the floor. For some reason, I’m trying to think of something to say in my review as I’m cumming. I can think of nothing but “Oh God, it makes you CUM,”,”It takes more than that to write a good review,” and “You’ve been reviewing too much!”

The Husband: What ARE you doing?


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