Oct 262014

I lost my virginity when I was in my mid-teens. SGirl and I had a lot of friends. We traveled from one group to another. Different groups, different schools, different ages, we were in it. We were there. We did a significant amount of socializing, drinking, and hot-boxing in bathrooms. We were stupid teenagers. Best friends, but fuck, were we stupid.

We both decided that our virginity was not a gift. It was a pain in the ass. We had ignorant discussions about thoughts that terrified us. Most of what we knew about sex came from high school gossip.

“My fucking hymen is going rip, and I’d bleed everywhere. He’s gonna be disgusted and tell all of his friends. Blood will be all over his dick, and me, and wherever we’re fucking. I mean, I think it’s heavy period blood. “

“How long till you stop bleeding?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“You think that’s disgusting, he’ll never want to see you again.”

“We’ve got to find somebody to fuck.”

“But don’t tell them we’re virgins.”

“That’s the plan.”

We stole a box of rainbow condoms and Rice Krispy Treats from a grocery store. We were ready.

We decided that we’d pick a random guy and have sex with him. Do the “one night stand” thing and never have to see the guy again. That would do away with any messy business when we found someone we wanted to date and start fucking. We’d be knowledgeable and experienced by then.

I lost my virginity to Vince. He was a friend of a guy that we started hanging with. The guy looked like he was carved from stone. But his head was full of rocks. I’m fairly positive he was over 21, considering he purchased alcohol with no problem. Alcohol wasn’t the problem the night that SGirl and I decided to go ahead with the plan and get our fucks out of the way. I wanted to be sober. I needed to maneuver through the best I could. Probably, it would have been a better experience had I been passed out cold.

After a full make-out session, and trying multiple times to line it up and go in for the kill, we both had to sit back and have a come-to-Jesus meeting about how his cock is just NOT fitting inside me. No wonder, it was the size of a soda can. At that age, I didn’t know they were made that thick. He would not fit inside of me. Although we tried another dozen times, with no lube. We basically tortured my virginity out of me. Mostly, because I didn’t understand my own vagina. Thanks Mom!

Note to all you virgins out there, who are just trying to kick one out, don’t do it with a guy whose dick is that big. Losing my maidenhood landed me in the emergency room, hemorrhaging. Although my best friend and I still laugh about it today. It was the most embarrassing thing in the word, then.

Wicked Wednesday

Jun 122014

When Empowered Products contacted me about their lubricants, I expected to hear about Gun Oil and Pink. Both were well known products, but neither one sat on my nightstand for regular use. I was excited to give them a try.

The company sent a sampler pack with all of the different products they carry. This was what really turned me into a kid in a candy shop. I emptied all the samples out onto the floor and began to open them one by one. I ran out of fingers. The Husband found me in the bedroom with lube all over my legs. Don’t get me wrong, he’s found me in odd predicaments before while reviewing toys, but the lube legs were a little odd for him.

I knew I had to include my favorite people in my lube leg adventure.

Alas, LubeFest was born!

I’m giving away:

A 3.3oz. of Pink, a 3.3oz. of Pink Water, a 4oz. Of Gun Oil H2O

3 sampler packs of the different lubricants that EP offers.

It’s a LubeFest. Join right in. :)

Contest ends June 26! US ONLY

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Dec 042012


Congratulations to:


Chanel Chanel



Manila Mike

December 8 is my Birthday! It’s my hope that I’ll be having a hell of a time. It’s my hope that y’all have a hell of a time with a giveaway! This is US only. You have to be willing to provide your address so that I can have prizes sent to you. If you haven’t responded to a winner’s notification within 10 days, another winner will be chosen. We’re going to run it until Dec.22.

I hope y’all have fun!

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Thanks to Agreeable Agony I’ve got 1 precut (1 x 50′, 1 x 25′, 2 x 15′) set of beautiful synthetic rope.

You’ve got a HUGE range of colors to pick from -black, aqua, rose pink, jute, green, hot pink, tan/beige, red, teal, silver, gold, navy blue, purple, brown, hunter green, royal blue, orange, yellow, burgundy, white, red/black twisted green/silver twisted, scarlet/gold twisted, yellow/black twisted and, blue/bronze twisted. Y’all get all that

 While you’ve got them tied up, don’t be afraid to use the clamps on ‘em. UberKinky has donated 2 sets (4 total) of MAWA Klamps to heighten your play experience!

            MAWA Clamps

Set 2

condom cubesDevine Toys has chipped in a beautiful lace and wine covered condom cube, along with a case of 24 individual AfterGlow toy and body wipes! I really love these Afterglow Wipes! Check out my review on them! To make it even better, they are even adding a few pillowcase packets of Uberlube!


Set 3

LDecdGoodVibes has a Little Decadence that they’re going to send to a lucky winner and with that, you can enjoy some Maximus  water-based lube sent in by Erotic Toy Town! Maximus is my go-to lube and I can’t wait for others to experience and love it as much as I do!


Set 4

The Cici Rabbit vibrator by Ladygasm is up for grabs, too

ladygasm_cici                               Set 5

                                                      And the last, but certainly not least, an Edenfantastys’ Gift Card.