Apr 042014
 
bird

bird

…But being outed by my Mother ain’t one.

I’ve always wondered what being outed was going to be like. I live in a small town. I felt like it was only a matter of time. Someone who knew me, who was also kinky, was going to find me on Fetlife. They’d stare, open-mouthed, at my profile, and then decide to crawl back into their kinkster hole. I was fine with that. The only reason you’re on a kink site is because you’re kinky, right?   … I ran out of fucks for those people a long time ago.

In my vanilla circles – There are numerous people that would guess that I’m kink-friendly. There are very few people, a close circle, who know the level of BDSM that I participate in. This circle knows that I’m a sex blogger. No one has ever asked for my moniker, so I’ve never given it up.

In my kink circles – I lead my local kink group. Everyone I meet through that process knows me on Fetlife. I give out my handle at cons. I’ve met some of my closest friends in my kink circles. They know me by my first, middle, and last names. They know more about how I feel than most of my family does. I can be myself with them.

How was I outed? I blame Facebook and my Mother. I’m serious. Those fuckers.

Facebook has that feature where it asks you if you know this person or that person. I had a family account, when I was still trying to pretend that I had a family. I’m figuring that maybe my profile either popped up or my nosy Mother was signed into my sister’s account when she tried to friend The Sin Doll on Twitter.

When I found out that my family knew, I was advised by another sex blogger of my choices. It basically came down to; The Sin Doll could vanish. Or I could say, “Fuck it.” Every picture, every thought, and every story tumbled in my head. I’d like to say the decision was easy, but the tumbling was like rocks.

Through conversation and realization, I now know what I do isn’t going to change any relationship I have with anyone I care about. I don’t know who it will even surprise. And I don’t like the alternative. I don’t want to disappear. I’ve been here for four years. It’s going to take more than some low-down fuckery to do away with The Sin Doll.

I come from a very church-oriented family. Good Baptist people. The kind that are in the pews every time the doors are open. Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday evenings. They pay their tithes, but on Tuesday-Saturday they gossip, drink their beer, jack off to porn, beat their kids, and even use fake internet names to spy on their family.

So, Mom

Enjoy the reading.

Y’all will have a ton to talk about come Sunday.

~The Sin Doll

 

I’ve got to thank @Mollysdailykiss and @DomSigns for taking the time with me during “damage control,” and also helping me to process my feelings during all this. Y’all rock.

 

elust

Mar 172014
 
BUTTON

elustheader Photo courtesy of Understanding Flutterby

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #57? Start with the rules, come back April 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Trick of the Light

What Does Porn Lead To

The Posh Life of a Sex Toy Reviewer?

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Eleven Quarters

Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Sadists

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Fiction

The Watchman
Short Story: Tucked Away
Property’s Progress
Glass Houses
Proud and Prejudged
You’ll Do…. Now Step Closer.
Pet Ballerina
Superotica Valentine – Day 7
Get In Me, Daddy
White Gloves

Blogging

Posting a photo a day!
How to Handle Your Junk in Public
My first trick on a corner
Mid Morning Musings ~ The Catharsis of Pain
Francesca Woodman Inspired Self Portraits
Eve’s Quandary – Blogging Between Fig Leaves
What I Be

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Why 3 out of 4 young women don’t masturbate
An Open Letter To Sex Toy Manufacturers
Daily Photo – Day 1: Full Disclosure

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Fantasies, deep and dark
Fun with ropes
Where we started from
Kink from a humbler perspective
To Err Is Human, To Punish May be Advisable
Reader Q&A: How does a sub say ‘no’?
Finding Balance

Erotic Non-Fiction

Suspended
Sister, Oh Sister
My First Trick
This one’s for you
Angela’s orgasm
His Rope Show
Finger Banging With Daddy
Feeding Submission
Valentine’s Day Diary
Balance at the Boat Launch
Rope, Rhino Cock, and a Balancing Act
Exquisite

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Monogamous, Kinky Couple-Friends
As Lust Fades
A discussion with Mom
When Did You Realize You Were Dominant?
How to Fake an Orgasm
How To Increase Your Libido Without Cialis

Writing About Writing

Talking Dirty
Fiction! Thank You!

Poetry

I’m Willing To Earn The Right
Bad habits

elustbutton200

Dec 202013
 

Kinkly.com rated me number 34 in their Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2013 list. Rori from Between Me Sheets also does an annual list of Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2013. I was lucky enough to receive a spot at number 34 on that list as well. Beck from Beck and Her Kinks put together her list of Top 25 Sex Bloggers of 2013. I was number four.

A huge ‘thank you’ goes out to Kinkly, Rori, and Beck. There’s tons of great bloggers out there. It’s an honor to see my name up there with people that I’ve read and on levels that I’ve aspired to be on. If my readers, new or old, did not like what I put out then I wouldn’t get enough attention to be noticed by anyone. I appreciate my readers.

I have put out some pieces this year that I’ve’ve been proud of and plan to continue  on and see where it takes us into next year. I don’t have anything to jump off with. Life’s been throwing boulders at my immediate and extended family since October. I’m sure everyone knows how serious issues can rattle people to the core. When things calm down in my personal life, I’ll start rolling again. Trust me.

Until Then,

The SinDoll

Nov 162013
 

Secretlysensous Photo courtesy of Secretly Sensuous

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #53? Start with the newly updated rules, come back December 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

He came in my shoes
Secret Pleasures and a Lifeline
Vulnerability as courage

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Golden Showers
If.

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Non-Fiction

Adressing my Master T
Afterglow, Wounded
Fantasy is Reality, or is it the other way…
Pig Tails? Really?
The Kilt and a Prom Dress
what i want
Whipped & Fucked
Because When You Look at Me, You See Me.

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

SexyLittleIdeas – My Sex Rules
New Rule
Collar Envy (Warning this post is Mushy)
the flood.
Today I cried
Why I love NRE even when it scares me
Love, or Lack Thereof, for an Abuser
a) monogamy b) polyamory c) neither

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

More Than Just Orgasms
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Bed
Sex By Numbers = Bad Sex

Erotic Fiction

Such a Good Girl
Spontaneous Combustion
Seasonal Changes
Wet…bound and gagged
Larry’s Prom Date
Property’s Prospective
Inspiration
SATURDAY NIGHT SPRINKLE [WW W74]
Evie and the Trainspotter
Don’t Miss A Drop
Marked

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Sub Silent
7(Random)Suggestions for Submissives & Slaves
Communication in D/s Relationships

Writing About Writing

Seven Sex Books I Read, Plus One I Didn’t
Thoughts on: The Blood Mage’s Sacrifice
Desiring Faggotry

Events

EroticonUSA- Penny’s Perspective

Blogging

From Prude to Proud Sex Blogger


elustbutton200

Oct 162013
 

potter Photo courtesy of Property of Potter

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #52? Start with the newly updated rules, come back November 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

 

7 (Random!) Suggestions for Dominant Types!

Pain Positive

i know what you are.

 

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Golden Girl

Have You Met Larry

 

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Poetry

Shown
To Punt or Not To Punt, That is the Question

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

SexyLittleIdeas – Why PUA Is Like Feminism
Understanding When His Glass is Full
To Minxy Malone, Thanks For Everything
Biting the Bun
The List (is a waste of time)
Confronting Your Sense of Entitlement
What Do You Prefer: Cut or Uncut?
My Secret Relationship with Max
Quaint Little Categories
Erectile dysfunction isn’t a big deal

Erotic Fiction

Property Procured
The Delight of Leather
Christmas Eve Surprise
Granny’s Door
Lolita Twenty-Thirteen, Part Nine
Jessica
The Edge of the Park
Trust
The Blood Mage’s Sacrifice
The Spanking Paddle-Off
Used, Using, Endless

Erotic Non-Fiction

I Want You To
Love like a lotus
Bend to my will
Spanked
How you helped me to stray
Little Lightening Bolts v. Rayne’s Clit
Master’s Fuck Toy
Conflict
Tease For Two
Memories of Spunk
“It’s total perfection.”
Fucking a Girl with a Double Dildo

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Insatiable Whore
Thoughts: Submissive Journals
Bondage vs. restraint
Dominant and Submissive “Fix”
Baring It All
Blow Job Submission – A spicy twist
Quickstart Guide
Struggling with sub drop

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

American Tantra is Full of Shit
Really, Riddick? Really?

Blogging

My nudity

Events

CatalystCon Part 1: Dildos, dildos, dildos

 


elustbutton200

Sep 152013
 

mia Photo courtesy of Down the Rabbit Hole

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #51? Start with the newly updated rules, come back October 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

When the sex isn’t great

The Least You Can Do

I don’t know how to dominate

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

TO THE MAN WHO OWNS MY SUBMISSION

Why I Need Him There.

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

First lesbian love

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Non-Fiction

Dressing Up for Master
2 nights of great sex – Monday
Marking My Body
Let’s Get It On
Better Lucky Than Good
starry night
Master’s Filthy Whore
Silence
Watching
Eat Dust
We Made a Sex Tape
Incapable of Thinking
Spank Bank

Erotic Fiction

Hickory, dickory, dock…
Oatmeal and Almost Orgasms
Classroom Adventure
The Inspection
The Hood
Opportunity Knocks
Little Red
Remember Me
Scorched Flesh
Awakening
Lolita Twenty-Thirteen, Part Eight
So Easily Bruised
Under the Desk

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

The Q&A’s of Stainless Steel Sex Toys
Triggers and PTSD
Palate Cleanser
Relationships: Is a sexless marriage normal?
Why Premature Ejaculation is Hot
Casual Encounters on trains and at stations
I wouldn’t really class a client as a lover

Blogging

Introducing Me
Why Bad Sex Toy Reviews Are Important
You never know who you’re going to meet.

Poetry

I want. . .
The Grand Old Duke of York …

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Penis Truths

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Strap-on Sex & Empowerment
Never Thought
Two Cocks, One Mouth, One Excited Jade
Aural Sex
Why I Stay Silent
Sub in Space
Hotter Sex Through Intellect
Nazisploitation and how it relates to BDSM
Service and Ritual
No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 18 – SSC
Kink of the week: Exhibitionism
Pegging: Fun for men, awesome for women


elustbutton200

Sep 072013
 
Car

CarI know I’m a little late getting this up, but Rori over at Between My Sheets is doing her annual Top Bloggers of 2013. So, if you love some of the nasty, sick, perverted stuff that I write, feel free to follow the link and nominate me.

You have to have your nominations in by September 30.

Your blog has to be at least a year old. Mine is about three and a half.

You DON’T have to have a blog to nominate one.

You have to have the correct blog link to nominate it. – http://thesindoll.com/

The picture has nothing to do with nominations, but I’ve been dying to use it.

Thanks Y’all

Jun 162013
 

Chintz Curtain Condoms

Photo courtesy of Behind the Chintz Curtain

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #48? Start with the newly updated rules, come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

This Scene Called Life

I Don’t Give A Fig

9 Reasons You SHOULD Have Sex on a First Date

~ Featured Posts (Molly’s Picks) ~

Firm
East Side Exhibitionism

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Threesomes: Being a Good Little Unicorn

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Non-Fiction

Sexentric News and Public Cam-Sex Report
The Play’s the Thing
Sadistic Bitch
It was a good night
Kink Chronicles – Panties
Quickie Afternoon Delight
“No, you don’t!”
“Objectification” by Blacksilk
Best.Sex.Ever
So I Asked SilverHubby About Our Orgasms
For Pity’s Sake, No
Like a Virgin
Three Ashes
His Princess and His Slut
I hope my neighbors got a show.

Poetry

Watching
I want to know You
Once Upon an ‘O’

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Testosterone! Don’t Leave Home Without it!
Why Modeling Is Poison
Should
On the swingset
Achievement Unlocked
How To Make A Woman Orgasm
Mutual Masturbation is Mother****ing Awesome!
The Wonder of Weddings
Introvert recovery
May is International Masturbation Month
Make love to yourself

Erotic Fiction

Fighting Spirit
Dinner is Served
Lolita Twenty-Thirteen, Part Five
Belle and Sandy
Babygirl Gets Caught

Writing about Writing

Beauty and the kebab

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Return of the Vulcan Penis Problem
Masturbation Mishaps, Introduction
“For Novelty Use Only”
BDSM Lexicon Entry #24: Aftercare

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Mad Men: the dominance of Don Draper
Wicked Wednesday – Knowing When to Say No
Why Do I Like Being Owned?
The difference between BDSM & Abuse


elustbutton200

Jun 092013
 

Choosing a Blogging Platform

There are many options for hosting your blog. I’m going to cover the three main options:

Blogger.com: Google’s hosted blogging service

WordPress.com: WordPress has been the starting place for many of the biggest bloggers in the world

Self-Hosted Blogs: This is where most bloggers end up, it may look daunting and scary but I have seen (and helped) many bloggers make the move into completely controlling their blogs

If you write, or review, or take pictures or even just want to expose the crazed ramblings of your warped mind you should have your own space to do it.  The best part is that it is very simple and free or cheap.

That is really your first question. Do I want to spend any money on this? It is an important question since it will determine how much control you have over your site and your content. Now don’t get me wrong both WordPress.com and Blogger offer great free services for hosting your blog. Both claim to be ok with adult content (more on that in a bit), both offer custom domain names (for a fee) but there are limits as well. I will now attempt to bullet point the differences (I may even succeed)

 

Blogger/Blogspot Pros and Cons

  • Pro: Will accept adult content  (with warning page)
  • Con: Will delete or suspend your blog at the first complaint *examples and references available upon request.
  • Pro: Free if you use a blogspot domain name and Google ads will appear on your website
  • Con: If you decide to buy a domain name they use Godaddy as a domain name provider *Godaddy does not have a terribly good track record and their TOS are very vague on adult content.
  • Pro: Part of the Google Cloud and integrates everything into 1 single Google ID, generally a gmail account
  • Con:  Part of the Google Cloud and integrates everything into 1 single Google ID, generally a gmail account and if they decide to turn it off, they often turn it all off and getting it back is nearly impossible.
  • Pro: Part of the Google Ecosystem which means that it is easy to add to Google Analytics
  • Con: Can be difficult to add other Analytic packages
  • Pro:  Built in commenting system
  • Con: To avoid excessive spam you generally need users to login to comment
  • Pro: Widgets and Gadgets available for additional functionality (Twitter and Facebook connections, subscriptions, RSS Feeds and Etc.)
  • Con: Since it is Google Hosted not all scripts widgets or Html code is allowed
  • Pro: Many themes and styles available and can be customized to some extent
  • Con: Because it is Google Hosted not all code customization will work.

As a final note about Google is that their motivation for offering all of their services is to make you, and your readers part of the Google Empire… and as has been said many time before. If the price is free… you are the product.

 

WordPress.com Pros and Cons

  • Pro: Will accept adult content
  • Con: You must register your blog as Adult Content or you will receive a warning
  • Pro: Free if you use a WordPress domain name and ads will appear on your website
  • Con: If you buy a domain name for your WordPress hosted site it will cost you $24 a year plus an additional $15 a year for Name Privacy. You  really really, want Name Privacy. Read BadKitty for more information.
  • Pro: Signing up with WordPress.com gives you access to the WordPress.com support pages and WordPress Themes for your blog
  • Con:  You are limited to WordPress approved themes and some customized code won’t function.
  • Pro:  WordPress requires a separate sign up that can provide another layer of anonymity since unlike Google they do not require a Real Name for sign up (They do want a first and last name, it just doesn’t have to be real)
  • Con: You have to remember a different Username and password because it is not integrated into your gmail.
  • Pro: Part of the WordPress Cloud so it is very resistant to downtime and WordPress has a vested interest in your site being up.
  • Con: If your site does go down there is no one you can call and find out what is going on. Your support is limited to email or forums. (not that Google is any different)
  • Pro: One of the largest blogging systems in the world with lots of built widgets and lots of layouts
  • Cons: As with Blogger there are many type of code that will not function and some that are only available as paid extras
  • Pro: A kick ass Spam prevention system that allows anonymous comments without burying you in Spammers..
  • Con: Sometimes it can be a bit aggressive on filtering comments that it thinks are Spam so you need to look through and make sure nothing important was caught.

My final note on WordPress.com is a semi positive endorsement Molly’s original site ran there for 2 years flawlessly and it wasn’t until we wanted to some very specific plugins that we felt we had to move. It’s not perfect but it is a great place to start.

Self Hosting

Pro: Install whatever CMS (Content Management System I.E. WordPress) You want. *except for Blogger, they used to offer the software but stopped long ago

Con: There can be a bit of a learning curve for new bloggers, and it costs money

Pro: Do whatever you want (so long as it is legal in the country you buy hosting in.

Con: You have to learn how to do whatever you want and actually decide what you want to do because you are no longer limited by someone else’s rules, and it costs money

Pro: You can buy your Domain Name and Hosting package from whomever you want

Con: You have to do some research and read their Terms of Service to make sure about their reliability, their reputation and how they feel about Adult Content, and it costs money

Pro: You are completely in charge of your own site, how it looks, how it works, and what it says.

Con: You are completely in charge of your own website so if you break it you (mostly) have to be the one to fix it.

This is the option I will recommend almost everytime, even to a newbie.  There is no substitute for being able to have your site just the way you want it. And there is nothing more satisfying than learning how to do it yourself. I know I said over and over during the self-hosting pros and cons that it costs money, but let’s look at how much it really costs.

You must buy a domain name, this can run from as low as $1.29 to as much as $24 the average is about $12 per year.

You really want Domain Privacy to keep your name and address out of publicly available records that service generally runs about $15 per year.

Then you need a hosting package. A web hosting package with unlimited sub domains, add-on domains, unlimited bandwidth and unlimited disk space costs us $7.96 (we run 5 websites on that package), now let’s add all of that up.

Domain Name      $12.00

Domain Privacy    $15.00

Hosting  Package  $96.00

Total Costs per Year $123.00

Cost per Day  $00.34

I think that 34 cents a day is a very reasonable price for having complete control.

Now of course you can spend more, you can buy a theme, pay for pro features in plugins as well as many other extras. Why you can even pay me to help you set it all up ;-)

I hope that this has shown you some of the options available to you for starting your very own blog. The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone. Many people (myself included) are happy to help and offer support.

For more useful information and links visit me at Subtle Mark or follow me on twitter @Domsigns