Nov 122013

The sun lifted and beamed through the two small windows in the room. It penetrated her face in some spots more clearly than others. When she tried to open her eyes, one wouldn’t. It was too swollen closed. The other had an inflamed cut across the eyebrow. She had limited vision. He had punched her in the face.

Her hands automatically went for her eyes. She found her wrists bound, along with her ankles. They were shackled to the small, iron bed she was laying on. The thin mattress that she was laying on was as naked as she was. She wondered if it was as dirty too. The side of the bed pressed against the long wall.  All she had to do was look down the foot of the bed to see him leaned on his shoulder, up against the doorway.

He must have heard the chains rattling. “Morning, pet.” She just lay there, in silence, frozen, and determined. The tension was in an elevator on it’s way to the penthouse.

“Don’t do it.” He shook his head, took his baseball cap off, raked his nails through his hair then re-positioned his cap. It was a habit she recognized. He shook his head again, looking at the floor and talking with one hand, the other still tucked under his arm.

“Are you going to try that thing where you cut yourself off emotionally? Because I think we both remember how well that worked out for you last time.”

“No,” her voice came out like a horse whisper; so she lay her head back, cleared her throat and tried again. “No. I’m just… trying to figure …everything out, and I’m tired and hurt.” She wasn’t in any physical or mental shape to earn his ire.  She didn’t know what was coming next, either.

He swaggered into the room and took a seat on the mattress beside her, then looked to the only other piece of furniture in the room which was a St. Andrew’s cross. He looked back at her.

“This used to be my playroom. Now, this is your room, but I don’t have room for that anywhere else in the house. You want to take a shower, get something to eat, maybe let me look at that eye?”

She warily nodded. He unlocked her feet first and then moved to her hands. She squeaked out an expression of gratitude. Before he unlocked her left wrist her stopped and let his elbows fall to her knees, and his face to the floor. “Thank you… what, pet?”

Her stomach sank. She hoped that by omitting that one word she hadn’t undone herself and his willingness to be gentle, even for as long as it would last.

He flipped her over. The jerk to her body almost jammed her one still chained wrist. One of his hands seemed to put his entire body weight on the side of her face. She could barely breathe. She felt the springs against her cheeks. His other hand slapped her ass until she finally got it high enough for his liking.

She screamed the word “Master,” endlessly. She felt something smooth enter her pussy and she lifted her ass for it. She spread her legs for it. Everything else hurt, but her cunt felt good. He said nothing the entire time, but pulled out before she could finish.

Just like she knew him, he knew her. He let her head up and covered her eyes with his hand, pushing whatever he’d fucked her with into her mouth. She could obviously taste her own juices.

“Clean it.”

She did. He uncovered her eyes.  He held the length of his hunting knife in his hands, inspecting how well she cleaned the butt of it.

She cried.

Oct 162013

He slung her across the quaint living room. She was received into his stone fireplace like a naked wrecking ball. Her fear was immeasurable. She was inside now, with him. Bruises, cuts, and much more were hushed by adrenalin.  Hyperventilation was never more than a moment away. She shook.

She wasn’t scared of the likelihood that she would forever be locked away in his mountain forest of snares. She was scared because there was no likelihood. Her new station was unequivocal. He would not have done this unless he was completely prepared. She was terrified because she believed him. No one would find her.

She’d suffered him before, but with slipped absolutes and excessive beatings. There was no closure to their prior relationship. She broke free of it. The mental abuse took longer to shake. Now she imagined him, limitless and with no accountability. It was fearfully inconceivable.

She saw a future of torture, masquerading as punishment and lessons. He had unlimited access to who he would decide to mold her into. Her silence was a mixture of how blindingly certain her fate was, and her slow descent into a hole of lost hope. His ability to destroy her mind was starting. She was afraid of it as much as the beatings. Once he was in her head, he was everywhere.  He would own every part of her. He wouldn’t let her go. She pleaded to God and Anyone Listening. He would kill her. He would destroy her mind.

He saw the harsh realization, even in her body. Her eyes became more vacant. She flinched at his touch. He wanted to comfort her. He didn’t want to go through a period of her hating him. He hoped he wouldn’t have to teach her about flinching again. Those were long, hard lessons for her. He hoped that she’d remember some of her time with him. He wanted her to be a good girl for him. She was always such a good girl, but she left him. She ran. They were going to deal with that punishment later.

He wrapped his arms around her. He needed to support her. He knew that she need to process this information and come to comprehend how it would change her future.

He tightened his arms around her. She was shaking. Absorbing the fear and reality, she finally started to cry. She whispered…

“Get the fuck off me.”

He punched her in the face.

Aug 142013

Cry OutHe told her never to cry out when he bit her. It took time for her, but she never cried out until she had too. At first, when he bruised deeply her skin. Then when he broke it and knotted her shoulders in pain and devotion. Until his teeth threatened her into dizziness. It was in those moments that she couldn’t hold herself back. She would let out the most gut-wrenching, painful screams.

He loved to hear her scream.

May 122013

sadisticHit her harder. 

She can’t even feel that.

I can tell how she’s reacting. Everyone can tell.

“Beat her ass.” It was more of a hiss than a whisper.

I stepped in. The air was thick the first time I hit her.

She was up there for a reason, in that position.

Her head rolled back after the second strike.

She moaned.

I hit her harder.

And I liked it.

Apr 302013

Monster in youI like your pale skin. I want to sting it. I want it to spill little strips of lava , maybe rub some in. Oh, and I want you cry. Just let me have a little bit of it. Just let me hurt you a little. Cry for me. I want tears. They just tickle me to death. Make me grin.

It’s Christmas morning and I’m like a kid just a little too old for Santa, but with no parental conformation that he doesn’t exist. I don’t really know where this came from, but I like it.

Dec 312012

fasterThings get familiar. But when he asked for something… and she huffed, he slowly got up as well.

When he came back with the restraints, her eyes went wide and her chin lifted to the side in question.

“I need to teach you something.”

She had gotten thirsty. Her mouth was dry.

In one fail swoop he had her by the hair, turned, and on the floor.

She was scared. She was scared of him like she hadn’t been in a while.

He began with the cane. She scooted, tucking her ass as much as she could. He had her tied tightly.

He gritted his teeth.

“Faster… Beg for me to go faster.”

Sultry Saturday

Kink of the Week

Aug 082012

Remember that girl I played with the other night? The entire thing started off with her asking me to come over and bring my collection of nipple clamps. At some point that day, I asked her if there was anything else that she wanted me to bring. I ended up just bringing the kitchen sink. After we’d played, I asked if she was still interested in the nipple clamps, and she very much was. She has nipples that are on the smaller side, so it made it a little harder to get things situated, plus, I’m not the one who usually does this. During this time, I’m usually bound, gagged, and floating. I’ll admit, I wasn’t very polished with getting all of the clamps on. Mental Note: Don’t say “What the Fuck?” out loud – it tends to make your bottom skittish.

So, on I went, trying to get each set on just right. I started with a simple pair of wooden clothes pins. I don’t think those really spurred her, even when I thumped one of them. Unfortunately, it went flying end-over-end and almost hit her in the face. She was blindfolded. I know now what blindfolds are really for. It has nothing to do with sensory play – it’s so bottoms can’t see when tops fuck up. I was grateful she was wearing one. Just think… what if I had put out her eye?

She seemed uninspired with the wooden clothes pins. I couldn’t blame her. My next, and favorite set were the tweezers. I think these turned out to be her favorites, too. I slid the ring almost all the way too the top and her nipples turned a bright pink. I tugged on the chain a little. The noises she made were impossible not to love. Entertaining. They brought a really happy laugh from somewhere deep inside me, especially when I snatched both clamps off at the same time by the chain.

Part of me wished that I had on a pair myself. A part of me longed for the same pain that I was giving. During all of this craziness, that was one of the things that I struggled with the most. I wanted that pain. I didn’t know what to do with those feelings so – I shelved them.

The next set were the butterfly clamps. Those brought on a very heightened reaction. She slithered and twisted. She had to ask to get out of those early. Her already battered nipples just couldn’t stand the torment of the butterfly clamps. I pulled the right one off by the chain, s l o w l y and I thought she’d DIE, so the next one I squeezed and let her out of the sweet way. Hell, I guess I’m not all that bad. We went on with two failed attempts; the broad tipped clamps and my newest purchase, the Metal Worx Magnetic nipple clamps (I know – the review’s coming).

When the evening ended, we both realized that we’d had a good time. I’ll admit, I would have enjoyed sucking a bit more nipple, but taking it slow is always for the best. I think I need to practice clamping more nipples. I’m gladly accepting applications. Disclaimer: I’m rough on ‘em.

Aug 072012

The other night, I topped. I’ve dabbled in the past, but this time was different in a variety of ways.

1. It was only her second time to play!

2. I actually sent a submissive into subspace.

3. I used many implements of pain that I’ve never used before.

4. I really got to let out my sadistic side.

5. I really got to let out my sadistic side.


We’ll start at number 1. I thought I was the green one here. See Number 2.

I just went kinda slow. I did what I liked to have done to me. I kept continued communication until she had a case of the fat tongue and then I slowly eased out See number 3.

I hadn’t used anything too wild: a riding crop, a wooden paddle, and a few other floggers, including the Sensua Suede Whip by Lelo. I’m still writing a review on that, so sit on your hands and wait in suspense. I used a rattan cane, and that lit a fire under her ass! I used some old 10mm  nylon rope that I had and daisy chained it tightly together into one big circle. When you fold it in half, it makes a great hitty. Random. We tried a lot of different toys, all at very entry levels. Ok – See Number 4.

When we first started, we were both settling into the situation and I knew that I was grinning for some reason, but she pointed out that I continued to let out a slight chuckle. I think it made her a bit self conscious at first. I could tell that was running through her head, while – at the same time, I’m realizing that I’m really enjoying hitting this girl. I’d like to hit her harder… and Oh. My. Fuck, I’m more sadistic than I thought. I said it out loud after she asked for about the one millionth time, “Why are you laughing?!” – WE laughed it off after that. I was a little nervous about saying it out loud for some reason. There’s no other way to put it, I’m a growing, evil little sadist. See number 5.

Mar 132012

I laid flat on the bed with my head hanging over the edge… because He just wanted to start with my tits.

He stood over me with His legs spread apart… enough so that my head fit there easily and my hands came to rest on his upper legs.

I was nervous, anxious and cold but at His order, wouldn’t move a muscle.

Fear of Him as well as where that wax was going to fall both kept me in check on this one.

He was smiling and teasing and I couldn’t manage much of either.

He knew how I felt and so His sadistic side grew by leaps and bounds.

When He checked me before beginning, I knew that my cunt gave me away.

I assured Him that it was only because of how His demeanor had changed.

I was no more looking forward to that wax than I was sitting through a church service with my Grandmother.

He started with the wax.

They were tight, hot bites that I had nowhere to get away from.

He smiled the entire time. Some might say, a grin.

He chuckled at some of my reactions, at my hisses…

He changed locatons of that candle and played His game.

…how far away from my tender skin would he drop those liquid hot kisses.

He was so happy… but that wax hurt.

… I was happy to hurt for Him.

Jun 192011

Here’s the truth.

You have something deep inside you that you don’t want to give anyone… but I smell it.

I can feel it inside you when I stand really close to you and when I look at you, …I can tell then, too.

I have no desire to beat it out of you when just looking and knowing stirs it around so much.

Everyone has their own Topping ‘style’. Last night I had my first real ‘experience’ at mine. I got into my first real Topping headspace and I liked it. I’d played around there before, but last night I visited and I knew that there was a part of me that could really do well there. It’s somewhere I really look forward to going again.